Cautious Tones
by pandorabox82
Summary: Roxanna has found that there are some things that she cannot move past, and that she really needs the comforting shoulder of a friend to lean on. Henrik just might be the one person she can completely rely upon to be that for her.


Roxanna sighed deeply as she sagged down in her office chair. Since John had scrubbed Meena from the trial, and she had found out about the unexpected patient, it had felt like she was getting even closer to the deep end, and that there might be no turning back from this water she found herself treading. Shaking her head, she tried to crack her back before she bent over the files on her desk, knowing that she needed to get to work on them, or face the wrath of Abigail Tate once more.

The door to her office opened some time later, and she looked up to see Henrik standing there, a bemused look on his face. "Am I late for something?" she asked as she sat up, beckoning him inside.

He closed the door behind him before ambling over to her desk and taking a seat, primly folding his hand across his stomach as he looked at her. "It seems like we're both too busy these days to check in on each other. Ms. Campbell is saving a place for me at Albie's, to celebrate a particularly tricky surgery going well today. Would you like to come with me?"

Roxanna glanced down at the work she had finished, seeing how much of it she had done, before looking back up at him, a small smile crossing her lips as she nodded. "I think that I'd like that, Henrik." Turning back to her computer, she saved the document she'd been working on before getting up from her desk and going over to the coat tree, shrugging into her trench coat before slinging her bag over her shoulder and looking at him expectantly. "Do you think she'll mind a third wheel?"

"Well, I know that Ms. Fanshawe is going to be there as well. She'll round out our number quite nicely," he replied as he splayed his hand out on her back, guiding her out of her office and over to the lift. As they waited, she found herself relaxing in his presence, some of the tension of the day melting away as she stood next to him. Imperceptibly, she began to move closer to him, breathing in the spicy scent of his aftershave. In all the years that she had known him, this scent remained the same, much like the man himself. "Roxanna?"

"I'm sorry? Did I miss something you asked?"

A slight chuckle slipped from his lips as he shook his head. "I just wanted to let you know that the lift is here. You appeared to be woolgathering, after all."

She nodded, a blush staining her cheeks as they stepped inside the car, and she went to the back as he pressed the button for the ground floor before joining her side. Again, she stepped closer to his side, even though they weren't talking, since she wanted to be in his orbit. "I feel like I'm a butterfly in spider's web, Henrik," she murmured in a rush, looking at a spot on his shoulder, unable to meet his gaze.

To her surprise, his hand came to rest on her shoulder, his thumb brushing back and forth along her collarbone a few times until she turned her eyes up to look at him. His brown eyes were pained, and she felt the wary smile on her lips quiver a little, feeling pinned to the spot. The lift doors opened before he could say anything to her, and she pursed her lips a little as they stepped out onto the floor and began to make their way over to Albie's.

At some point, his hand came to rest on the small of her back, and Roxanna smiled a little as she angled her body closer to his, drawing some warmth from his presence as they briskly walked to the pub. The moment they were inside, she began to feel a little out of place, since Serena was clearly surprised to see that she had tagged along. Unconsciously, she shrank into Henrik, and he naturally reached around to rest his hand on the dip of her waist as he guided them over to the table Serena had claimed.

"I didn't realise that you were coming, too, Roxanna. How nice."

The words were pleasant enough, but Roxanna noticed that the smile on Serena's lips did not extend to her eyes, and she nodded a little as she shrugged out of her coat and placed it on the back of her chair before taking a seat. "Henrik thought that I needed a small break from the paperwork I was drowning in. Ms. Tate has been a bit aggressive about my tardiness as of late."

"Yes, she always was a stickler for timeliness," Serena replied as she arched an eyebrow before taking a sip of her wine. Roxanna threw a desperate look at Henrik, and he nodded a little before gesturing towards the bar with his head.

"White wine again, Roxanna?" Henrik asked, and she nodded, grateful that he remembered her preferred drink. Almost as soon as he had gone, Fleur sashayed over to them, sitting next to Serena and giving Roxanna an almost hungry onceover.

"Well, what brings Queen Elsa down from her castle to visit with us mere mortals this evening? Are you looking for someone to thaw you this evening?" The suggestiveness in her voice was more playful than lecherous, and Roxanna laughed a little as she shook her head. "Have you even thought about looking?"

The suggestiveness had dropped from her voice, and Roxanna met her eye steadily as she shook her head. "There are days when it's hard to believe that he's gone. It's been six months, and I threw myself into this trial of John's, and only recently has my head popped above water enough for me to focus on something other than work and my grief."

To her horror, a few tears began to prickle at the corner of her eyes, and she pursed her lips in order to keep them from falling. Fleur reached across the table to pat her hand gently, and she gave her a small smile before glancing at Serena, seeing the commiserating look that swept across her face so quickly that Roxanna wasn't entirely certain it had even appeared. "It's easy to do that," Serena whispered before taking another sip of her wine.

Roxanna nodded, feeling like she had finally made an inroad with Serena. Thankfully, Henrik arrived with their drinks before things got too awkward, and she accepted the glass of white wine from his hand as he took a seat. Sipping at it, she let out a relieved sigh as his knee brushed against hers in a brief show of solidarity as he and Serena fell into a conversation.

The night passed quickly, with them all getting rounds for each other. At one point, it almost seemed as if Fleur was trying to drink them under the table, but as Serena matched her drink for drink, Henrik touched Roxanna's arm, giving her a small wink to let her know that she could hold back a little and watch the two women compete. Finally, though, Fleur had shook her head and settled their tab before getting to her feet and dragging Serena alongside her.

"Well, it's been fun tonight, but Ms. Wolfe would kill me if I didn't look out for Serena here. We'll see you sometime tomorrow?" she asked as she wrapped an arm around Serena's waist. Henrik nodded and Fleur grinned before leading Serena out the door, leaving them alone.

"Well, she's a firecracker," Roxanna said once they were alone, and Henrik chuckled as he nodded. "I've only ever seen her on her ward, and she's fun, but still serious. This was almost too much, tonight."

"Now you're sounding like me, Roxanna."

She shrugged a little as she swiveled her body a little so that she could recline against the wall and watch him. "Solitude has become my friend. I've learned how to love it from you."

His eyes turned sad as he looked at her, and she once more felt herself tearing up. A part of her knew that the alcohol had made her more emotional, but there was something more to it, as if they were in a liminal space and one of them needed to cross over to make things right between them once more. "I would never have expected you to follow me into the depths of solitude. You deserve to live a happy and fulfilled life."

"I lost my better half. I don't have to look after him all the time, and I feel adrift when I take my focus off the trial and look at my personal life. And you know that I don't feel entirely comfortable with this trial, that I've had a few issues with John and how he conducts his research, but I've cast my line with his, and I can't turn back now. Do you think that David would be disappointed in me?"

The first tears began to roll down her cheeks, and she pursed her lips as she looked away from him to stare at the table, not wanting him to see her cry yet again. It was no surprise, though, when he reached out and flicked away a few of those drops, rubbing them away between his fingers. "I think that David would want you to be happy, Roxanna, and I don't think that throwing yourself into John's trial is doing that."

Henrik's large hand spread out across her face and his fingers curled around the back of her head in a comforting gesture. Roxanna leaned forward, allowing her forehead to come to rest on his shoulder as he stiffened a little in surprise. "I know, you don't like spontaneous display of affection, but…"

"This is fine, Roxanna," he murmured as he pulled her closer to his side, the chair scraping along the floor as she moved. It was so nice to be held like that, as she hadn't had this sort of intimacy since David died. And she had to wonder if Henrik had had a gentle touch since the incident, as well. The moment lingered on, and she sighed deeply when he finally pulled away from her. "I think that we should perhaps head home now."

"I suppose," she replied as they stood. Henrik helped her into her coat before he slipped into his, and then they were walking back to the hospital. She found that her glasses of wine had hit her a little more than she had expected, and fought to keep walking in a straight line. There were a few times when she bumped into Henrik, but he always righted her before continuing on their way.

As she went to dig her keys out of her bag, Henrik reached out and stilled her hand. "I don't think that you're fit to drive, Roxanna. I'll take us home."

"You drank, too," she said, feeling a frown start to form on her lips.

"Yes, I nursed one beer over the course of our four hours in the pub. Whereas you have been weaving and bobbing on your feet this entire time back. Come along." He rested his hand on the small of her back and led her over to his car. Ever the gentleman, he opened the door for her, waiting until she was inside before closing it as well.

Henrik got behind the wheel and began to drive, a silence falling between them as he pulled out onto the road and started to drive. When she realized that he was heading towards his home, a tiny smile curved across her face as she relaxed against the seat and allowed herself to fall asleep.

The next thing she knew, he was shaking her shoulder gently, and she sat before rubbing her eyes and looking at him blearily. "Are we home already?" she said lowly as he helped her out of the vehicle. He nodded and she followed him up to the stoop, waiting as he unlocked the door and let them in. "You'll have to lend me a shirt to sleep in."

A faint blush stained Henrik's cheeks as he let out a cough. "Is there one you had in mind?"

"Anything with long sleeves," she replied as she stepped out of her heels and hung her coat up next to his. He gave her a small nod before heading into the kitchen. Roxanna followed after him, accepting the glass of water he pressed into her hand a few moments later, sipping at it as they made their way deeper into the house. "Henrik?"

"Yes?"

"I really don't want to be alone tonight. You're right, I have been throwing myself into the trial and focusing on anything but living my life." Her spoke cautiously, not certain how Henrik would react to them. This time, she didn't look away from him, needing to see how he reacted to her. Maybe she had said too much, since there was such a long pause between her words and his reaction.

"You're one of my dearest friends. And I don't know how you would feel if we crossed that line and turned our friendship into something different."

"Henrik." Roxanna reached out and grabbed hold of his arm firmly, her eyes never leaving his. "We won't know how we feel until we take that step. This isn't the wine talking, it just helped to loosen the words that were frozen in my heart." Before he could say another word, she leaned in and kissed him tenderly. Again, there was a moment where he stiffened in shock before he returned the kiss. "I rather think that you already have my heart in your hands, and that you can break it at any time you choose," she whispered as she closed her eyes, trying to will away the tears that were starting to form.

"Oh, Roxanna," he murmured before pulling her into a warm embrace. There was something so warm and right about being in his arms, and she rubbed her cheek against his suitcoat as he pressed his lips to the crown of her head. "If you are certain that this is what you want."

"I haven't been completely certain about a thing since David died. But this feels like home, and that is what I need right now."

He kissed her head once more before leading her to the stairs and brought them up to his bedroom. It was spartan, neat, and she felt a bit like she was being let into a place where no one else had been to before. She took a seat on the bed and watched as Henrik stopped in front of his closet and began to methodically undress. There was something soothing about the way he replaced the tie on the empty hook before taking off his suitcoat and hung it on a hanger before slipping out of his pants and placing them on the same hanger.

She felt a blush spread across her face as she took in the socks and garters he was wearing, drawing her eyes up his legs to see that he wore boxers still. By the time he turned around, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, she had dragged her gaze up to his chest, though her blush was definitely more pronounced, as she could feel it all the more. "If I could ask one thing of you, please, fold your clothes and set them on the chair."

She knew that he needed to keep the order of his space, even if she was a chaos factor for him, and gave him a small nod as she made quick work of the buttons on her blouse, slipping it from her shoulders and folding it as she got to her feet and walked over to the chair, setting it down carefully before unzipping her skirt and setting it on top of her blouse. Now that she was down to her underwear, she began to feel very vulnerable, and Roxanna turned to see what Henrik was doing, hoping that he was still there.

A slight gasp escaped her lips when she saw how close he was to her, down to his boxers. A hesitant smile crossed her lips as her hands flitted down to her tights, rolling them down her legs as she kept her eyes on him. Roxanna almost lost her balance, but quickly righted herself before folding the tights and adding them to the pile of her clothes. "I choose this, Henrik."

"I know." They closed the distance between them, and Roxanna sighed a little as the wiry hairs of his chest tickled at her skin. Their lips met in a deep kiss, and another gasp slipped from her lips when she felt him fumble with the clasp on her bra. His fingers were so nimble and long, different from David's. And though she and her husband hadn't been intimate in this way for almost as long as he had been gone, she still felt a small bit of guilt at taking this step. And then, Henrik was pulling the bra from her body as she nipped at his lower lip.

From there, it seemed only natural to move towards the bed, and they continued to kiss as he lowered her to the bed. Somehow, she had forgotten how tall he was, since she was accustomed to being in heels around him, but the bed dwarfed her, and she felt like she was drowning a little, which caused her to cling to him a little as he skimmed her pants down her legs, and he gave her a small smile before kissing her again.

His lips were so warm and soft against her skin as he began to press sweet kisses to the planes of her face before moving down the column of her neck. Roxanna found the sweet pleasure that his lips and hands were bringing her quickly overwhelmed her senses, and she parted her legs for him as he fitted his body between them. "Henrik," she gasped out as he entered her, and she instinctively wrapped her long legs around him, guiding him in deeper.

They moved fluidly together, almost as if they were meant to come together in that moment, and she couldn't stop the tears that began to roll down the side of her face as she blindly sought out his lips, pressing them together in a bruising kiss as they strived to reach the pinnacle of their pleasure. A low-pitched, guttural, moan slipped from her lips as she felt her orgasm start to wash over her, and then Henrik was also falling over with her. Without meaning to, Roxanna dug her short fingernails into his shoulders as she arched her back up against his chest, needing to be in closer contact with him.

As the orgasm passed, Roxanna fell back against the bed, panting a little. Henrik collapsed on top of her, and it seemed so right to snake her arms around him as their breathing synced up. There didn't seem to be a need to talk, to break the tender, sacred, silence between them, and she nuzzled her nose into the crook of his shoulder as he reciprocated the embrace. A softly indrawn breath from her caused him to turn his head and press his lips against her forehead, and she nodded before relaxing in his arms once more.

A small shiver ran through her body as the heat from their lovemaking bled away, and Henrik let go of her for a moment, pulling up the sheet to cover them before tugging her close to his chest once more. She was startled to find that she fit perfectly beneath his chin, and a soft smile curved her lips upwards as she rested her cheek against his collarbone, her eyes fluttering closed as their breathing slowed down and evened out, sleep stealing over the room. Before she finally drifted off to slumberland, she felt Henrik kiss her forehead once more, and a quiet sigh slipped from her lips, the sorrow that had been chasing her for all these months finally chased away by being in the arms of someone who she cared deeply for.


End file.
